Sorry I Dropped Off The Face of The Earth!

I’m back. I have been a bad bad blogger. The whole point of this thing was to keep people updated so I don’t have people asking about my progress. I have totally failed on this front and I apologize. This post is going to be pretty long so buckle up. My life has been a bit insane. I will put my actual weight loss progress in another post since this one will be so freaking long. I am sure some people will zone out or skip it.

I ended up not being able to go back to work until almost 4 weeks out. I had to take out short-term disability and in order to go back you have to be cleared by your doctor. Since mine happened to be out-of-town the week of my follow-up appointment, and is in surgery the first part of every week, I ended up not going back to work until August 7th. Up until that point I had been doing alright with eating. Once I went back If I tried to eat anything that wasn’t yogurt I couldn’t keep it down. This would only happen at work so the only thing I can think of is that perhaps it was just the stress I was experiencing having come back during the busiest time of the year.

Let’s talk about stress for a second. So I have always had some level of anxiety since I was about 12 years old. I can keep it in check the majority of the time but I hadn’t had full-fledged panic attacks since I was in High School. For some reason when I went back to work the stress of dealing with everything kicked my anxiety into high gear. Now I don’t know if it was the perfect storm of insomnia caused by restless leg syndrome, stress, hormonal changes from the weight loss, and not really being able to eat enough. All of a sudden work caused me to be all suicidal and anxiety ridden. I ended up hyperventilating and baling in the company parking lot one morning and had to leave. I sat back and realized that work was the reason I was feeling this way and decided it was time to start looking into school (right after I called my doctor). I knew that if I am every to be truly happy in a job it’s going to have to be in a creative field which this job was not in the least.

I saw my doctor and she prescribed me something for the anxiety and insomnia and told me to take Magnesium for the restless leg syndrome. Adjusting to the anxiety and insomnia meds was intense. I ended up having to work from home for like a week because I felt like Courtney Love in her glory days. I literally fell out of bed one morning when I tried to get up. Eventually I got used to it, and work started to slow down again and things started to take shape with school. This takes us into September.

The second week in September I was told I was going to be laid off in a few weeks as the year had been slow for the company. About this time I found out that I had made it into The Art Institute of Colorado’s Bachelors of Photography program. As soon as I found out that my insurance was going to be running out I started weaning off the anxiety meds and haven’t needed them since.

This whole time I have been experiencing the numbing and dizziness that started after surgery. I had been having a hard time getting plain water down and was beyond over any sort of protein drink or food. It didn’t matter the flavor or brand I could taste the whey even if it was unflavored and it made me want to gag. Also if I wasn’t physically hungry I couldn’t really eat more than a bite or two and it would come back up. Which probably wasn’t helping the dizziness. You forget because you aren’t starving all the time that you aren’t really consuming much even when you can eat.

I was over at a friend’s house letting her puppy out when I almost passed out. I had been bent over playing with the puppy and didn’t notice that I had my knees locked. I noticed my feet were starting to go numb so I went to try to change my stance (I was still bent over) and my vision started going black on the edges and I fell to the ground. Since I was bent over already I kind of just fell backward onto my butt/hip and then landed softly on my side. I didn’t actually pass out but I came close.

The first week of October I had orientation for school and my Grandma was very sick in the hospital. The doctors had given her only a couple of days the day that I had my orientation. I love her and didn’t have the need to see her hooked up to tubes but my Mom wanted to go down there so I told her that I would driver her down the next day. We wouldn’t get the chance because she passed that day shortly after I got home from the school.

My family is buried in Farisita Colorado so I had to make the trek down to Southern Colorado for the services. I had class until 10pm the night before so I decided to make the journey the  morning of. I was distracted and trying to change lanes on a hill when I passed a state patrol speed trap and ended up with a $250 speeding ticket. That Sunday I opened a letter from Cigna saying they wont cover my $2,500 bill for the physicians assistant that my surgeon used during my RnY. Needless to say when you’re out of work you need those expenses like you need a stick in the eye.

The following Friday my health insurance ended. The next day I was out shooting photos for my former physical trainer. Before I headed out I had eaten plenty throughout the day. I had actually had some ground beef and cheese with some salsa right before I had left. It was about 3 pm when we meet up and I hadn’t really had much to drink all day so I stopped and bought a Vitamin Water Zero on the way to the shoot and drank about 3/4’s of it. We had been shooting for about an hour or so when this happened.

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The dad and son of the family I was shooting were waiting with me on this path while the mom was helping the daughter change for her senior portraits at the car. I was standing there talking to the Dad when I noticed I was feeling a little weak when all of a sudden the side of my vision went black and I got dizzy. He obviously noticed my reaction to this and I told him I wasn’t feeling so hot. I asked his son to go grab my vitamin water from the car and leaned against the rock wall that bordered the sidewalk of the path. The last thing I remember was thinking I need to put my camera down. The next thing I knew I was waking up to the Dad gently shaking my shoulder and saying my name as I spit could hear Karen running toward us yelling what happened? I had to ask him because I wasn’t sure if I actually passed out or just collapsed and he said I passed out because I didn’t try to get my hands down at all when I went face first into the sidewalk. My guess is I went to take the 5 steps to my camera bag and went down in the middle of them.

As quickly as it came on I felt fine equally as fast, but I had my parents come get me and my car just in case. I didn’t want to get on the road and pass out again. Luckily my tooth didn’t hurt at all but from the bottom of my nose to the tip of my chin hurt like a bitch. My dentist was out-of-town so it took me a few days to get in and pay $2,000 out-of-pocket to fix it. My surgeon could give a shit a saga I will get into later. He really didn’t have an answer as to why this happened. Other than like I thought it might have been because I was dehydrated. I had my 3 month blood work done a few days prior to passing out and he said all of my levels looked good that they weren’t even borderline low.

Other than that small shit storm (which included closing my finger in a car door, stubbing a toe so bad I thought it was broken from the pain and color, getting the worlds worst rug burn from falling down the last 3 stairs because I was practically sleep walking, and getting a flat tire) things have been good. The weight has been coming off, I have been kicking ass and taking names at school, and I have air in my lungs so I can’t ask for much more.
The first quarter of school flew by and ended on Thursday. I got all of my Christmas presents ordered Friday and Yesterday. I have to go buy my dad’s presents for my mom, and stuff to wrap mine today and then I will be done with holiday preparations.

Other than the dizziness and fainting things have been pretty good side effect wise. I haven’t dumped, I haven’t had lots of gas like some people have (although I have noticed I could clear a room more often than I used to luckily it’s only ever happened when I am alone). Eating has gotten way better. I throw up very rarely and it’s typically from meat (chicken or turkey) being too dry.

It’s almost time for my 6th month follow-up and I need to find out how much this shit is going to cost me out-of-pocket. I might end up finding a different surgeon to because I refuse to pay to see a Physicians Assistant (you don’t get to see the surgeon until a year out).

Well that’s it for now. I will post pictures and weight updates tonight or in the next couple of days.

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One thought on “Sorry I Dropped Off The Face of The Earth!

  1. Our stories are so much closer than I thought. I’d like to talk to you about the anxiety thing at some point. Mine has been out of control lately, and it all started when my medication had to be changed after surgery.

    Like

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