My desired goal was set 10 years ago when I looked in the mirror and knew that my weight had become a serious issue. I was a senior in high school, I wore a size 18 pant, and weighed in around 275 – 280 pounds. Fast forward 10 years, countless diets, life style changes, workouts, and lost and gained pounds and I had a moment a couple of months ago where I made my mind up enough is enough.
One day at the end of December of 2013 while photographing my sisters fitness studio out of curiosity I decided I would step on the scale for the first time in months. No one was around, and I could tell my pants had gotten a little tight over the holidays so I figured what the hell lets take it for a spin? I was floored and heart broken when the scale read 313 pounds….313 POUNDS! I literally had to do a double take I knew I had put on some weight since September when I had been to the doctor (I weighed in at 285) but how could I have gain 28 pounds in 3 months? I knew drastic measures would need to be taken.
Back in 2011 I had a similar experience, my sister was out of town so I was house sitting for her and her scale was out. Again I jumped on it only to be shocked by the numbers when it said 295. I started looking into Gastric Bypass telling myself I would never see 300 pounds. After doing my initial rounds of research I was scared shitless and decided to take a half measure and bought a bike instead telling myself I was going to give it one more valiant effort. I started biking, I found Pole Dance and Burlesque, I started working with a trainer and over the course of the next 8 months got down to a fit 265 pounds (pole makes you gain muscle, and loose inches but not necessarily weight like crazy).
I had remained pretty active up until August of 2013 when my uterus and insomnia decided to rage war on me. I was crampy and exhausted and didn’t have energy for much. I went from doing 4 to 7 classes a week, to maybe one if I felt up to it. Finally in December I started feeling a bit better but by then apparently the damage had been done. All the work to maintain and loose was flushed down the toilet. In all honestly my highest weight had probably gotten between 5 and 10 pounds higher than the 313 I weighed in at on 12/30. I got on the scale because I felt like I had lost a little that month as my activities started to pick back up.
“I chose a half measure, when I should have gone all the way…I’ll never make that mistake again. No more half measures, Walter” – Mike Ehrmantraut Breaking Bad
I decided right there and then there will be no more half measures and I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss gastric bypass. After going over my medical history she diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) which makes it difficult to lose weight (It would explain why even when I eat well and exercise like crazy I don’t see a lot of results). She also said she thought that Gastric Bypass was a great idea since I have luckily escaped the majority of side effects that come along with obesity and am actually very healthy. She also gave me a referral to The Colorado Bariatric Surgery Institute so I could set up a consultation.
Some people might wonder if you’re so healthy why not loose it the old fashion way? I have given it a lot of effort over the last 10 years and am always able to loose between 30 and 50 pounds only to gain it all back and then some. I know I can maintain a healthy weight, but when you have 150 pounds to drop to get there sometimes you need some help. I am also doing it because you don’t see morbidly obese senior citizens, and as I creep closer to 30 I don’t want that birthday to be my half way point. Since December I have gotten down to 298.5 and ever pound has been a huge effort only confirming why I need this tool to help me. So the time is now.
Why blog this experience for all the world to see? I have decided to blog about it for a couple reasons. The first is to create accountability for myself. The other is because I am not so good at expressing myself in person. It never comes out the way I want, and I don’t easily share my feelings. Most the time if someone asks me how I feel I will say fine because I don’t like feeling vulnerable. This way I can keep those who are interested updated about what’s happening, and perhaps help others who are looking for a raw candid view of the process.
So if your reading this come along on my magical wild ride lol. Well this will mostly be about my Bariatric journey I am sure my photography, and dance life will spill on over, my life is fantastic and beautiful which is why I want to be around for it until I am old and gray.